last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
