whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
