In the future we'll all be gay
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
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