Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I have tasted many bathrooms
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
