ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Randomize
