he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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