My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
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