i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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