don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Randomize
