The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
it wasn't lemon gatorade
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
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