I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
