She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
