But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
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