i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
