return my video game
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Randomize
