Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Randomize
