its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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