It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
