when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I can feel your judgement through the phone
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
