I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
