In the future we'll all be gay
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Success! We fucked roommates!
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
