i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
