I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
This is my life. Enjoy the view
It's no shave November. This is our time.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
