brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
