Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
