Tell her she can't have a vagina
no, he came in my armpit
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
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