why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Randomize
