I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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