were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
