If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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