Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
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