I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
I deserve this hangover.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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