I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
