No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
