So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
