Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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