Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Randomize
