If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
