I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
