WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
