We're facebook friends in real life
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
She tied me up with her honor cords...
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Randomize
