the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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