No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
