Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Randomize
