I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
