but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
