My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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