You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
he puts the penis in happiness.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
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