she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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