I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
